if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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