Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
