My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
