Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
zippers are such a cool invention
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
