yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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