So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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