Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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