Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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