Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
