Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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