And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
