Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just cut my nipple shaving
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
