That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
