i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize