Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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