I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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