woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
