K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
