Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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