the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
