I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
