she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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