We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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