who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i've created a new STD.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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