Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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