I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
