He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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