I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
