mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Less talking, more tequila
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
