just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
