do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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