Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
