i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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