So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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