Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
