I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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