i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
