Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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