I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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