her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
