I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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