You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
