you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize