doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
