Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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