i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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