Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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