why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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