I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize