He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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