My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
