do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
