hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
