It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
