and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
