if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
