What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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