i think my tv is drunk
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
