lets start a swedish sibling band together
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
