There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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