Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
