Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
