How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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