In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
