As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
