He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
