Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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